


Internal Failure

by The Big Roman (Hammocker)



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heart Attacks, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 21:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16227605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammocker/pseuds/The%20Big%20Roman
Summary: This kind of thing happened during meetings. Roman got pissed, yelled for a while, and kept everyone on their toes. Jason thought nothing of it. What caught his attention was a sudden silence that fell over the room.





	Internal Failure

For all the things he felt about Roman, Jason could never say that he envied his job.

Meetings were some of the worst of it. The boredom was near-unbearable, and Roman was well-aware that Jason couldn’t stand them. As such, he’d started to insist that Jason come to them to serve as his personal bodyguard. But, of course, because nothing interesting ever seemed to happen at them, Jason was doing and listening to a lot of nothing

At this particular meeting Jason was lounging on a sofa pressed up against the wall, close enough to watch and hear, but clearly aloof from the meeting itself. He was keeping an eye out for assassination attempts, just in case.

Jason couldn’t complain too much, really. A few of the attendees had set about royally pissing Roman off, in slow increments. Jason watched the cycle that he knew all too well play out in front of him. Roman was honestly calm, then holding back anger, then, when everyone was especially grating, he let all that pent up rage out to give everyone at the table a piece of his mind.

All because of something to do with someone else’s stockholders. Jason would never understand business, no matter how insistent Roman was in trying to teach him.

The yelling went on for minutes on end, Roman making it clear to everyone in a ten mile radius that he wasn’t at all pleased with the terms being set out.

“- and you ungrateful shits wouldn’t see half your revenue if it weren’t for the shipments I get into the city!”

Even barely looking at what was happening, Jason felt a smile tug at his lips. That was his Roman; he never took shit from anyone, and definitely not the suits who came into his house looking for handouts.

“Jason!”

Jason jumped at the sound of his name, looking up at Roman.

“At least pretend to pay attention!” Roman barked at him.

Jason had to fight back a smile then, as he replied, “Yes, boss.”

That was all Roman needed before he went back to shouting at the rest of the table. Jason obliged, watching Roman for a few moments before returning to his routine of staring into space.

This kind of thing happened often enough during meetings. Roman got pissed, yelled for a while, and kept everyone on their toes. Jason thought nothing of it. What caught his attention was a sudden silence that fell over the room. A kind of eerie calm before the storm that meant that either Roman was well and truly pissed, or something was wrong.

Jason turned to look just as a croaking cough came from Roman. Not a word came from the rest of the table all the while. Not even as Roman stumbled back, off-balance, before collapsing to the floor.

Jason, however, was up in a flash and rushed to crouch at Roman’s side, looking him over to assess what was wrong. His fears were confirmed on the spot as he realized that Roman’s chest was still. He whipped his head up to shout at his still-captive audience.

“What the hell are you all staring at?! Call an ambulance, he can’t breathe!”

Not stopping to check if any of them complied, Jason hurried to clear Roman’s jacket and shirt out of the way. As he did so, Roman’s jaw worked to open and close like a fish as he twitched. The faintest sign of Roman trying to breathe on his own. That spark of hope was more than enough to spur Jason on to tear the expensive shirt away to start giving Roman chest compressions. If he wasn’t breathing, his circulation could give out in seconds. After ten compressions, he leaned down to push a few breaths into Roman’s open mouth. It was to no avail so far, but he had to keep trying.

Jason dared to take another glance around the room. Even as he worked to keep Roman alive, no one had so much as reacted to his commands. Jason stared across them only to see a bunch of stiff, uncertain rabbits staring back at Roman and himself. Some almost seemed amused by his efforts, smug half-smiles clear even from a distance.

“Are you deaf?!” he yelled, voice echoing through the chamber of a room. “Someone move, now!”

“Shit, kid, what’re your panties in a twist about?” one guy who Jason didn’t recognize asked. “We’ll all get a better deal with Sionis gone. I’ll pay you twice what he does for security if that’ll stop you.”

For a split second, Jason was frozen at the words, mouth ajar, completely floored that anyone was dumb or brave enough to say something like that in Roman’s own home. Anger, fear, bitterness, uncertainty in himself without Roman to give him commands at the drop of a hat, all manner of emotion flooded through him. Adrenaline, however, gave him a boost in confidence.

As soon as he could move, Jason grabbed one of his pistols from its holster, pointed it with pure intuition, and fired at the guy’s head.

His only reaction was a blank stare of shock before he was dead and gone. A gasp of surprise washed over the room, but nothing to indicate exactly what had just happened.

“Does anyone else want to stay put?!”

This time, finally, everyone clambered to stand and exit. Jason prayed that at least one would dial for the ER while he kept trying to restart Roman’s heart and lungs.

Again, Jason set about pressing into Roman’s chest and exhaling into his mouth in cycles. He was growing more and more panicked by the moment, but he wasn’t giving up, not ever. It was all he could do to keep his ministrations steady.

As Jason leaned down to breathe into Roman’s mouth once more, Roman pulled in a deep, rattling inhale, twitching back to life. At the same time, Jason breathed a sigh of relief. Roman was breathing again, with difficulty, but unsteady breaths were far better than none at all. He wasn’t so likely die as long as he had some airflow moving in and out. In that brief moment, Jason reluctantly thanked Bruce in the back of his mind for forcing him to get certified in CPR.

Roman was quaking like a leaf in the wind, but still he moved to sit up

“No, no, no, no, don’t,” Jason urged, pushing Roman back down. “You’re having an attack, don’t make it worse. Just try to keep breathing.”

Despite Jason’s protests, Roman opened his mouth 

“Desk-” he gurgled. “Under- right...”

“Sh, sh,” Jason urged, already getting to his feet. “I understand, just don’t talk.”

With one more glance down at Roman, Jason hurried over to Roman’s desk. He leaned down to check under it, and sure enough, there were two buttons, one on the left, one on the right. Jason smacked the right one before hurrying back to Roman.

If anyone had walked in at that moment, Jason was certain that he would have shot them on sight. He wasn’t taking any risks.

Jason knelt down with Roman once again, touching his hand.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jason mumbled, as much to himself as Roman. “Help is on the way, just hang on, please.”

The same went on for at least fifteen minutes, Roman taking labored breaths, and Jason muttering comfort and encouragement to him. He was prepared to start CPR again at any point, but he feared that he might not have as much success a second time. In split seconds between his focus on keeping Roman alive, he realized that, on any other day, Roman would have been livid at what Jason was doing and saying. Roman had made it clear more times than Jason liked to think about: he couldn’t afford sentimental habits.

Jason leapt up at the sound of the double doors opening again. He grabbed his gun and aimed it in preparation. He had no idea what was coming, but he wasn’t letting anyone hurt Roman while he was so vulnerable.

Two men in neat white shirts and navy pants hurried in, only to hesitate, first at the sight of the still-bleeding body laying on the floor, then Roman, and then at the sight of Jason.

One of them raised a flat hand at him, declaring, “Stand down, Mr. Todd, we’re here to help.”

Jason didn’t know this guy, nor why he knew his name, nor why he was only so briefly concerned with the body on the floor, but he felt inclined to listen. He holstered his gun and watched the two of them come over. One of them unfolded the stretcher while the other knelt down to inspect Roman, take his pulse, respiration, temperature, field medicine basics.

It was less than five minutes before they were lifting Roman up onto the stretcher, and moving to take him out. Only then did Roman react, stretching an arm out towards Jason to try and grab at him. It was so uncharacteristic that Jason’s heart clenched.

The same medic from earlier spoke again, in an observational tone, “You ought to come then.”

Like Jason was ever going to let them leave without him. He reached out to touch Roman’s hand, giving him that small reassurance before he let the two guys lead the way carrying him out of the room.

He wasn’t entirely sure where they were going, but Jason would make sure that Roman was well looked after all the while.

*****

Jason didn’t think he’d ever been in a hospital in his life.

Even so, he felt like a waiting room shouldn’t be so quiet, even a fancy one. It was more than a little surreal. The room itself reminded him of one of Bruce’s sitting rooms, and he could almost forget where he was, if not for what had happened earlier that night and the company. He was nearly alone except for a woman sat in the corner, face stained with tears, and a man with an unreadable posture and expression sitting closer to the entrance.

All Jason could do was thoughtlessly stare at some news report on the television in one corner of the room. He prayed that Roman wouldn’t become another casualty of another Gotham night.

It felt like an eternity before anything pulled Jason out of his own head.

“Todd?”

Jason snapped his head towards the voice, and found a white-coated doctor with a clipboard standing a few feet away. He stood up with a nod, barely breathing as the doctor gave him a run-down.

“Mr. Sionis is stable now, breathing well on his own. His cardiac arrest was relatively mild, but it was lucky that he had you right there when it happened. He should be fine, but we’ll keep him overnight to monitor his condition.”

Something told Jason that this wasn’t the first time this doctor had seen Roman, which suggested that the rest of the staff were probably Roman’s regulars as well. Jason wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

“We’ll be changing his prescription slightly-” the doctor continued. “-but he should still maintain a low-sodium diet and avoid emotional strain.”

Jason nodded along without a second thought. He was still half-expecting for someone to come along and tell him that, no, Roman wasn’t going to be fine, or that he was already gone. He almost preferred the ambiguity.

“Okay,” Jason muttered, before a sense of confusion hit him. He hadn’t even known that Roman took medicine for his heart. “Why are you telling me all this?”

The doctor gave him a perplexed squint, looking much the way Jason felt.

“Well, it’s in your rights to know, being his-” He gave a courteous smile as he glanced down at his clipboard. “-official heir. You are Jason Todd, aren’t you?”

Jason blinked. That was news to him. Roman had said that Jason was heir material, but he’d never mentioned it being a formal thing. Again, he couldn’t trust his ears, but, even as the seconds ticked on, the doctor’s expression stayed polite, with no hint that he was mocking Jason. It seemed like it was true. Jason just didn’t know how to feel.

“That’s me,” Jason said finally, a cold kind of humor in his voice. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome to see him now too, though, he may be asleep. I’ll show you to his room, if you’d like.”

All Jason could do then was give a limp nod.

The doctor led him down the hallway, and it was only a short while before he stopped in front of a recovery room and opened the door for Jason. Jason gave him a quick thanks before stepping inside. 

It wasn’t all too different from a decent hotel room, ignoring the hospital trademarks of sterile whites and a mobile bed frame. The furnishing was nicer than Jason would have ever expected in a standard hospital, complete with fine sheets, a plush couch, and a couple matching chairs. It was a better place to spend the night than anywhere Jason had done so as a kid.

Sure enough, Roman was passed out on the bed, but Jason was just relieved to see the steady rise and fall of his chest. He was comfortable and safe, and that was more than enough for Jason.

Jason pulled up a chair at Roman’s side, and sat down. It felt like a dream, seeing him rest so peacefully. A far cry from only a few hours earlier. For the first time since Roman had gone down, everything was right in Jason’s world. 

Still not quite believing his eyes or ears, Jason rested his head over Roman’s chest, just like he’d done so many times before. Jason was privy to the sound of Roman inhaling and his chest inflating where Jason could feel it. The exhale was equally gentle, and Jason’s head sank down with it. The only thing that betrayed that anything had been wrong was a slightly elevated heartbeat. Otherwise, it was nothing but soothing, and Jason found himself shutting his eyes to listen more closely.

Maybe he’d fallen asleep. It didn’t feel like any time had past, but the next thing Jason knew, he felt a hand in his hair. Jason stirred with a hum, glancing up to figure out what was happening, and found Roman staring back at him.

“Hey, kid,” Roman murmured.

Jason thought he might have been dreaming, and hesitated to answer. The scene didn’t have a foggy, grey filter over it like his dreams usually did, but he couldn’t be sure. Dreams always felt real in the moment, after all.

Dream or not, ignoring Roman wasn’t making him dissipate.

“I knew that there was a chance of this happening,” Roman said after a moment of silence. "Didn’t want you worrying, but I should have said something, given you some kind of warning.”

It was about the most candid and open thing that Jason had ever heard from Roman. Jason was definitely dreaming. Taking care of Roman had exhausted him and was giving him strange visions of a more benevolent Roman in his imagination.

Of course, Roman couldn’t cooperate with that idea.

“Jesus, I did a number on you, huh?” he asked, reaching out to snap his fingers in front of Jason’s face. “Come on, Jason, talk to me.”

So maybe Jason was awake and Roman had said everything he’d said for real. That was okay. Roman was recognizing that he’d done a good job; that was a hard thing to have happen, even for his senior-most staff, but it happened. Roman showing remorse, though, that didn’t happen.

“I…”

Jason choked as he searched for words. He didn’t want to seem sentimental and have Roman pull away, but he had to say _something_.

“I- I’m just happy you’re alive,” he said, doing his best to mirror Roman’s clarity.

Roman stalled to answer, giving Jason a long, unreadable look. He puffed out an exhale that could have been a laugh, or- something else.

“You didn’t think I was ready to die on you, did you?” he asked, taking on a faux-scolding tone.

“I don’t know,” Jason replied, honest and numb.

“Well, you didn’t hesitate to help me not die,” Roman said with that familiar casual kind of earnesty. “I appreciate that.”

“I guess. I didn’t really think-”

Jason cut off as Roman reached out and brushed a hand across his cheek.

“You really are something else, you know that?” he asked, though, it wasn't a question. “I doubted you for a moment, when I was going down, but I shouldn’t have.”

“I couldn’t just- leave you there,” Jason said, somewhere between anger and distress at the idea. Sadness superseded both as Jason pressed his head up against Roman’s chest and murmured, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Roman looked at Jason for a long stretch. For the first few seconds of it, Jason was afraid that he’d said something wrong, but that wasn’t it. No, it was a softer gaze than when Roman “scolded” him, softer than anything Jason had ever seen in Roman before. Some indescribable mix of confusion, amazement, and sheer affection.

It was like staring into the sun. Brilliant and impossible to look away from.

“Could say the same to you, Jason. Thank you.”

A flush came over Jason, but he smiled through it. It was- nice to hear Roman say that, and to know that he really was grateful. He felt a deep warmth in his chest, and he wondered if Roman felt the same way.

The mood couldn’t last. Slowly, Roman’s strange earnesty faded, replaced by something a bit more in line with his regular, aloof attitude.

“You shot Lorenzo in the head,” Roman said with a dry laugh. “Need to make some calls, get that cleaned up.”

“You don’t mind?” Jason asked, recovering from his previous emotions, but only just so.

“Do I mind being rid of anyone who was ready to let me die?” Roman made a show of humming like he was thinking hard about the question. “No. I’m proud of you.”

Jason had to contain himself from preening. Roman never said things like that to anyone, let alone him.

“He seemed like a real dick,” he said with a shrug.

Again, Roman laughed. “Yeah, he was. Didn’t like me having higher income than him.”

“Like a lot of people?” Jason asked, resting his head on Roman’s chest once more so that he could still look up at Roman.

Roman hummed his confirmation, even as he immediately changed the subject.

“Well, at least now you can see why I don’t like having too much excitement at meetings.”

“That’s- not really funny,” Jason said, even as he nestled up further against Roman.

“Maybe not,” Roman admitted with a casual huff. “But what do you expect? That I’m gonna go crying whenever these things happen?”

“Guess not,” Jason conceded in turn.

They both laid there for a long while in silence. The longer Jason looked at Roman, and Roman back at him, the heavier his eyelids seemed to get. He felt safe there, not because of where he was, but who he was with. Smart or not, he felt so at home with Roman. Warm and- sleepy.

Judging by how Roman’s heartbeat had evened out, he felt the same way. Jason wished that it could always be this honest between them. Every doubt and misgiving, chased away by a steady heart.

As he laid there, succumbing to sleep, he felt a hand come down and start stroking through his hair. Jason couldn’t help but purr at the sensation. His eyelids fluttered once or twice before settling into being closed fully.

As he drifted off, he could swear he heard Roman murmur above him, “Il mio cuore pulsante…”

He couldn’t be sure if he’d imagined it, but it was enough to put an easy smile on his face as sleep claimed him.


End file.
